We all know the Mother’s Day that everyone talks about. The mother who got 4 iPads for Mother’s Day, or the one who got a brand new Lamborghini, or the one with 15 perfect children who all behaved like saints all day long. Ok, those may be slight exaggerations… But I think you catch my drift. My own personal Mother’s Day fantasy would be this: donuts delivered to my house, lunch catered in, a nice long nap, and chocolate strawberry crepes for dinner, Kids getting along and not fighting all day long, then a long bath with a glass of wine! But it would be just that… A mere fantasy. We live too far for donuts to be delivered, same goes for a catered lunch. We are out of eggs for crepes and it will likely be a cold day in hell (sorry kids!) that my boys go for even half a day without fighting. And of course, pregnant women are greatly discouraged from imbibing. But we can still have our fantasies, right?
But what about the Mother’s Day that no one wants to talk about, the one where people are sad or hurting? What about the Mother’s Day for the 3 girls, all less than 40, who lost their mother this past year at such a young age? What about the adult daughter who lost both her mother and her father and still grieves them everyday? What about that mom who has that pain in her heart from the child she recently lost, and even with other living children around, still cannot fill that void and aches inside? Or the one who lost her mom a few years back, has a husband now and child of her own, but recently felt so much pain and sorrow herself that she felt she couldn’t even go on with life? Or the one who is infertile and dealing it’s the fact that she will never have kids of her very own. Or the one who is pregnant and isn’t struggling with grief or loss, but is struggling day in and day out with a miserable pregnancy and just has no energy or emotions left to give to the rest of her family at the moment since the baby is taking up every bit she currently has. What kind of Mother’s Day do you suppose these ladies had? The kind that no one wants to talk about.
As far as me personally, this year was hard to feel like celebrating. After having buried my sweet mother-in-law just 2 days ago, I just wasn’t really in the celebratory mood. This week has gone by so dreadfully that we haven’t had time to think of anything Mother’s Day related. We spent one day making funeral arrangements, picking a casket, confirming the preacher. One day I spent at the mall by myself agonizing over the perfect outfit to bury my MIL in. One day we spent trying to find the songs to play at the funeral as my husband wrote out what he wanted to say about his mom. And I was also busy forgetting things left and right…. Forgot to get money to thank the preacher, forgot to print maps to our house for the wake after the service, forgot to get anything for my own mom for mother’s day. The week leading up to this Mother’s Day was just so emotionally and physically draining for both my husband and myself.
My own beloved mom is still living, and for that I’m grateful! And I have my two robust, energetic, wild boys that I love dearly, with another bundle on the way. But it was just hard for me to get into the spirit of Mother’s Day this year. So if you are someone who is struggling in some way, who is grieving loved ones, who had a less-than-stellar Mother’s Day…. Please know, You are not forgotten, you are not alone, and you are still loved!